In the Basement
by Claret Stasis
Summary: I've changed this to a NaruHina OneShot. Everyone's on a date but two people. Sadly, it takes one of their cousins to set the obvious couple up on the cutest ? date that Konoha has ever seen!


Today, I feel like writing something NaruHina. If it sucks, please tell me, because I really just got bored. This is why I love Computer Science. I finish early and then type whatever the hell I want on Word after. Now, ONWARDS FELLOW COMRADES!!

Nyahaha.

If it is weird, please don't be mad. I know some of my facts are wrong and some things might not exist; that's because I just wanted to add some favorite jokes of mine into here.

This is also my first thing on Fanfiction. I think it's pretty good. Constructive reviews only, please. Please, _please_ don't tell me that it effing sucks and then don't tell me why. Thank you.

* * *

Naruto was depressed. Why? It was apparently like National Date Day or something, because _every single freaking person he saw_ was holding somebody's arm, kissing somebody else, hugging the same person, or making out in an alley. 

He'd even seen Shikamaru on a date.

Well, not so much a _date_ as his significant other was yelling at him to get his lazy ass up and moving so they could get to the cliffs before Gaara realized that she'd brought all the ice cream with her. Shikamaru then probably muttered something perverted (or not, it's not like Naruto would know or anything) because she yelled something like, "Insensitive BASTARD". Or something. Originally Naruto had been at the foot of the hill to ask Shikamaru how his day was without a date, when he'd found him with the psychotic blonde lady with the weird hair (not that he'd ever call her that to her face). He, throughout the course of the yelling, had backed off to around 10 yards away from the hill. And he could still hear that damned yelling.

How Shikamaru could stand her he will never know.

Unless he asks him.

…

Nah… 

Anyway, if Naruto swore that every single person in the world was on a date at that moment in time, a small bolt of lightning would come down and electrocute him slightly, because he happens to be forgetting the person that _should _matter the most to him, but _doesn't_.

I know you know who I'm talking about.

* * *

Hinata sat dejectedly in the room. She looked around at her surroundings. They consisted of her fox plushie, a washing machine, and lots and lots of old boxes. Oh, and a hamper of the nastiest clothes she'd ever had the misfortune to come near. She thought they were probably old forgotten training clothes. And she would be right. The washing machine was running, the bathroom smelled even fouler than the clothes next to her, and the door at the top of the stairs was locked from the outside. 

Stupid Neji-nii-san had locked her in the basement.

_Gods_, itfreakin' _stunk _down there.

And yet, one thought echoed throughout her training-clothes-smell clogged brain.

_I wonder what Naruto's doing right now.

* * *

_

Naruto was still walking towards his house. On the way he'd seen Sasuke with Sakura (Sasuke'd fled back to the village in terror when Orochimaru tried repeatedly to rape him in the middle of the night. He'd begged like a little girl to be let back in, a sight to see for anyone who knew Sasuke. Naruto was especially proud to have been there because he got to see the look on every fangirl's face when Sasuke got into the fetal position and started to mutter something about his "Happy place, free of snakes and test tubes and glasses and purple…" He'd then started to yell a phrase that sounded suspiciously like I'M NOT GAY! STOP TRYING TO RAPE ME!" and then his voice got strangely quiet as he started to whisper, "N-no… N-not the b-basement… a-anything but th-that, Orochimaru-sama…" Then in a squeaky voice, he'd repeated over and over, "I'm a good boy… Sasuke will be good from now on, Master… Just please, not that… anything but that…" Ha ha… That was funny. I'm so sorry, I seem to have gotten a bit off track. Anyway…), Ino with Chouji, Tenten with Lee (Ooh, that had made him mad. Even Bushy-Brows had a date, and here Naruto was walking throughout the midst of the couples without a freaking date), and even Kakashi with Kurenai. Okay, now that last one was just wrong. Naruto didn't even _want_ to think about what would happen after that date.

_**EEW.**_

Come to think of it, the only two people he hadn't seen were Neji and Hinata-chan. Hmmm…

OKAY, now _THAT_ was wrong. Nevermind that whole KakashiKurenai thing, THAT was WAY, _WAY, __WAY_, _**WAY**_ WORSE.

Oh god, that was going to haunt his nightmares for a while.

* * *

Neji wasn't feeling all that bad today. He had a date later with this girl (Her name was Yuki, and she was kind of new to the village. She said he was just showing her around the village, but they both knew better.), but in the meantime, he had to help Hinata along with hers. That's right folks, Neji wasn't just being a bastard who locked his cousin in the basement out of spite. In fact at that very moment he was in the branch house kitchen putting red frosting on a beautiful chocolate cake. (they were out of orange. Or maybe they just didn't have orange frosting in the first place. Whatever.) The cake was for Naruto. 

Hold on rabid yaoi fangirls, this is not what you think. He was making it so he could get Naruto to go on a date with poor Hinata. It wasn't exactly a very nice way to do things, but Hinata would be happy that he'd done it after a while. Hopefully…

Neji sighed as he put the finishing touches on the cake (a couple of ramen bowl-shaped cookies he'd made himself earlier – they were good, trust him) and said contentedly, "You know, if I hadn't been a ninja, I really should have been a baker. Stupid branch house destiny and all that…"

The room went silent. A couple of dishes went crashing down to the floor and smashed. Somebody dropped a fork. A sizzling sound and loud swearing were heard as one of the boys helping the head cooks in the kitchen dropped his hand into the skillet he was working at. And then all was silent again.

"WHAT?!?!?" he yelled, "Can't a guy bake in peace?!? If I was gay, I wouldn't have a date tonight, now would I? WOULD I?!?" All was silent once more.

One of the boys (who obviously didn't know any better) said bravely, "It could just be a cover-up, you know. And it would explain why your hair looks so much better that almost all of the girls' in Konoha."

Neji turned to him, his Byakugan activating and this time (scarishly) his eyes began to glow dimly, a sign that if that idiotic kid said one more word, Neji's stack would blow and he'd end up murdering almost all of the people in the kitchen while protecting his precious cake. The boy muttered a quick "sorry" and ran out of the room as fast as possible.

Now, to analyze Hinata's handwriting so he could copy down the rest of the message he was planning to write to go along with the cake.

And he knew how to get her signature on the card, too.

* * *

Hinata sat in the filth that was the basement. The more she looked around, the more she hated it. The scariest part of all, though, was that the longer she spent down here, the more she missed her dad and her little sister. HER LITTLE SISTER!! WHO THE _HELL_ COULD POSSIBLY MISS HANABI?!? Hinata really didn't think that her sister would be alive that day after she messed up her IM conversation with Neji and Naruto. She'd started to yell at Hanabi after she put "i think narututu is gross and icky P" and quite nearly killed her (strangulation is effective, I tell you!). Neji told her the day afterwards that her screaming (both sisters') nearly blew out his computer it was so high pitched. Bastard was just trying to tell her something to make her upset. 

Then (even worse), when Naruto asked her the day afterwards 1.) Who that was on her IM, since he knew she wouldn't write anything that ungrammatically correct (that is the _exact_ wording; no way would she misquote Naruto), and 2.) What all that yelling was last night, she must know since it came from the Hyuuga compound and she does live there, after all, she nearly died of embarrassment. Thankfully (sort of) her father had come up to her and told her that she needed to get to work training with Neji as her punishment for quite nearly killing her sister the previous night.

Well, at least Naruto found out what the yelling was, right?

Actually, that was when she'd gotten closer to Neji. He'd (surprisingly) helped her in her training instead of trying to kill her (like she thought he'd do). Then, when the time came that she wasn't in trouble anymore, Neji came to her and asked if she'd still like training. Hinata answered a quick yes. Why? Because she'd found out that if he wasn't doing something worthwhile, he had to help baby-sit all of the little clan brats in the daycare center (small Hyuuga children were kept there when their parents were off on missions. They were all spoiled, whiny, and a major pain in the ass). She'd actually felt sorry for him, so of course she was totally cool with helping him out by letting him train her. It benefited her too, because now she was a lot stronger thanks to him. Every so once in a while he'd still have to go and take care of the brats, but she'd accompany him and tell the kids that if they bothered Neji too much she'd tell their parents that they bugged the people too much and to start leaving them with Mrs. Miyurai Hyuuga, the Hyuuga compound's resident crazy cat lady, who never stopped talking to her cats about her old husband, who was—according to her—"a hero and a brave soul, who protected the main house from many evils throughout his many years of life" (In reality he was a the gardener and custodian, and he caused more weeds and other messes than any before him. What a pretty little world old people must live in, for her to come up with this stuff now that she was older, ne? The elders weren't much better, always spouting discriminatory nonsense and "war" stories.) So it was all good now. Hinata was vaguely wondering what time it was, when a quiet knock came from the door above. She crept silently up the stairs, noiselessly activating her Byakugan and glaring at the person on the other side of the door.

Neji-nii-san.

* * *

Neji gulped nervously before he went to the basement door. Ever since he'd started training Hinata, she'd gotten a lot stronger. He had reason to be afraid of her now, since she just might be able to kick his ass with a bit of luck. And a partner. In a tag-team fight. And when he was alone. FINE, but it'd still be hard. Anyway… 

"Hinata-sama," he whispered, "I'm going to let you out, okay?"

"What's the catch?" Hinata asked suspiciously. "You're not the kind of person who'd let me out without a catch."

"You have to sign this paper where I show you," Neji said as he held up a piece of paper that was completely blank and folded in half. He then pointed to the bottom of the right half of the paper. "Just right there. I'll let you out then."

Hinata's old-training-clothes-smell-clogged brain told her to respond with an "Okay Neji-nii-san… " so she did. He handed her a pen and the paper as soon as he opened the door, and she slowly signed the paper.

Then, Neji pushed her backwards so she fell onto her bum and shut the door.

He whispered to himself as he walked away, "Oh, thank Kami-sama for doors that only open from the outside…"

He wrote the rest of the note in her handwriting and put the note in an envelope with the lucky Kyuubi boy's name on it (also in her writing). Now, just to drop it off…

* * *

Naruto was almost back to his house now. A couple of minutes earlier he'd seen Neji walking hurriedly away from the direction that Naruto himself was headed. He wondered vaguely what in all eternity Neji might possibly be doing over by his house, but quickly forgot. It's not like he was over at his house or anything.

* * *

"**DAMMIT NEJI LET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS GAWDDAMN BASEMENT BEFORE I GO ANGRY PEANUT ON YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!!"**

I give you three guesses to figure out who that was.

I'm frikking serious. Guess.

Ah, you people are no fun.

Anyway, Hinata kept yelling and pounding on the door and yelling and no one noticed.

It really sucked for her.

I would NOT want to be Neji when he gets back.

* * *

Neji was back. And scared shitless. 

He could hear Hinata yelling from the main gate.

He prayed to the Gods that no one had let her out.

He prayed repeatedly.

Slowly tiptoeing to the basement door, he whispered, "Hinata-sama…?"

"THAT HAD BETTER NOT BE YOU, NEJI, BECAUSE IF IT ISYOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY STARTED RUNNING!!!"

Neji cringed and blinked.

Fuck.

"Hinata-sama," he whispered, "I'm going to let you out, but you have to promise me you will go straight to Naruto's house."

"I'LL GO THERE _AFTER_ I CRUSH YOUR HEAD IN!!!"

Double fuck.

Neji quickly opened the chakra-sealed steel vault door that led into the basement, then ran for his damn life like he'd never had to run before.

Hinata stepped out, fuming, and, not seeing Neji, punched the vault door so hard that there is now a permanent dent in it.

Surprising, since she is a Jyuuken fighter, after all.

I'd _really_ hate to be Neji right about now.

* * *

Naruto blinked as he stared at the card. Hinata… 

Really?

Hinata? 

Now that he looked back on it, it _was_ kind of obvious. I mean, with the blushing and the stuttering and it was just now dawning on him that holy crap, he was an _idiot._

Amazing, isn't it, that he could just blatantly ignore all obvious signs of affection towards him over the years. And then he has to be told with a cake attached and everything. And the cake smelled like Neji.

Just don't ask how Naruto knows what Neji smells like.

Seriously, I don't even have time to go into that right now.

Anyway, it was a really good cake (Neji-stench or no) and he wanted to go thank Hinata for it. That's why he was walking towards her house. He saw her storming towards him. That was weird. She _never_ storms. Hell, around Naruto her only setting was shy.

"Hinata-chan," he asked, "What's wrong dattebayo?"

"What's wrong?" she screamed, "What's WRONG!??!? I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE MY COUSIN JUST TOLD THE GUY I REALLY REALLY LIKE THAT I LIKE HIM AND NOW NOT ONLY WILL HE PROBABLY NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN, BUT I'M EMBARRASED BEYON BELIEF!!!!!!! AND _YOU_ HAVE THE _GALL_ TO ASK ME WHAT'S _WRONG??!?!? __GAH!!!!!!!!_"

He blinked.

"Hinata-chan, I'm talking to you right now dattebayo."

She blinked.

"O-oh, N-N-Naruto-kun, I-I'm s-so s-s-sorry, I d-didn't know i-it w-was you…"

"Don't worry about it Hinata-chan, you have plenty of time to make it up to me."

"W-what d-do y-y-you m-mean…?"

"Wanna go mess with Neji on his date?"

"Y-you have n-no idea…"

"Well let's go. We'll follow him around and just shout random things at him wherever we are. You know, embarrass him and all that good crap."

"Th-that s-sounds like f-fun…"

"Well I'm glad you feel that way. Do you know where they went?"

"I th-think h-he said th-they were g-going to the G-Golden Butterfly…"

"_Really? __SERIOUSLY?_ Well damn, there's no way I'll _ever_ have enough money to pay for that."

"I-it's o-okay, Naruto-kun… I-I c-can p-pay…"

"Aaaawww, but _I'm_ supposed to! A gentleman always pays for his lady on the first date!"

_**FREEZE.**_

"A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-date????????"

"H-Hinata-chan…? Your face went all red… Are you okay…?"

Hinata was taking her sweet time processing the fact that her and Naruto were going on a date. A _DATE,_ of all things. She blinked twice, took a deep breath, and fainted.

OH CRAP. Naruto caught her just before she hit the ground, and of course Neji chose that exact moment to turn the corner to where they were with his date.

"What the _fuck did you do to Hinata?_" Neji asked dangerously. His date touched his arm lightly, as if to calm him down.

"N-nothing dattebayo!! I just basically asked her on a date and she fainted and then you turned the corner and—" Naruto was interrupted.

"Shut up! Now _tell me what happened._"

"I just told you what happened!! I didn't do anything!"

"_You lie._"

"Na-NANI!!! I THINK I WOULD KNOW IF I WAS LYING OR NOT!!!"

"JUST SHUT UP AND ADMIT TO HURTING HINATA!"

"WHEN WILL IT SINK THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD THAT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!?!?!??!"

At that moment, Hinata chose that moment to sit up. "NARUTO-KUN I'D LOVE TO I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED ME THERE'S NO WAY I'D SAY NO!!!!!!!!!!!"

Naruto blinked. That was kinda perfect. Neji said, "What did you just say Hinata...?"

"O-oh, N-Neji…" she said, "H-hi…I w-well…"

Naruto interjected with, "Hinata and I are now a couple! So leave us alone, Neji! You have your own girlfriend!"

The girl he was with sniffed, putting her head down. "What am I to you Neji…?"

He started freaking out. "Wh-what would cause you to think that, Y-Yuki-chan? I-I'd never… I-I'd…"

She smiled brightly. "Don't worry, Neji-kun! I know. It's just too fun to mess with you though, and you seemed so flustered…"

She got glared at.

Hinata looked up at Naruto, since he was still holding her, you know, after the whole fainting thing and all. "N-Naruto-kun…?" she said, "M-may we get going…? Th-there's somewhere I'd l-love to t-take y-you…"

Naruto spouted waterfall anime tears, saying/whining, "But _Hinata-chan, _I told you, _I _have to pay for it!!"

She sat up and put her hand on his shoulder. "N-Naruto-kun…? W-we're really n-not a conventional c-couple… I d-don't think we h-have to follow th-that…"

He sat up and blinked, previous conflict with Neji long forgotten (as a matter of fact, Neji and his date seemed to have disappeared into thin air to God knows where), and said, "I guess you're right. Where did you want to go?"

"W-would you b-be okay w-with the G-Golden B-Butterfly…?"

"Of course I would!"

After they were seen walking into the restaurant, Naruto's trademark fox grin still plastered onto his face, neither of them were seen for the rest of the night. As a matter of fact, it is believed that Hinata even snuck into her room at around 3:30 AM wearing Naruto's black shirt tucked into a black denim fishtail skirt as Naruto walked away wearing a black fishnet shirt and skintight leather pants. Kiba will deny all accusations of letting that story spread throughout the village. So will Sakura. However, nothing about that night can be confirmed, judging on the fact that neither Hinata nor Naruto is willing to speak a word. Gaara, Hinote, Temari, and Kankurou swear that they saw them at the Switchfire, a club on the east side of the village. However, it is also unconfirmed whether or not the Suna ninja were even in Konoha at the time. That night will always remain a mystery…

To most, anyway.

Neji swears he knows.


End file.
